The Broadway Battle
Season One, Episode Three
Tumblr lgoj08K29l1qfp0uao1 500
First Aired February 3, 2013
Episode Guide
"Duffy Danger"
 The Broadway Battle is the third episode of the first season of LoveWithoutTragedy's fanfiction series, Glee: Make It or Break It. It was released on February 3, 2013, the day of the Super Bowl.


Jealousy starts to float in the air when Cole starts to get competition when Matt decides to join New Directions to win back Samantha, causing a Broadway feud to escalate. Meanwhile, Aidan starts to date a using Jason, who blackmails him, in order to hide his sexuality. After that, Kaleesha finds herself against Kendall's immature and bitchy antics and decides to push away from her friendship with both Kendall and Samantha. A new member, Tiffany, sets her eyes on joining Glee Club.


Song Title Original Artist Performers
A New Life Cast of Jekyll and Hyde Kaleesha Simone
Ladies' Choice Cast of Hairspray Matthew Humphrey
Maybe Cast of Annie Tiffany Winters
Cell Block Tango Cast of Chicago New Directions Girls
Cooties Cast of Hairspray Kendall Rhodes and the Cheerios
Anything You Can Do Cast of Annie Get Your Gun Matthew Humphrey and Cole Reynolds
Practically Perfect Cast of Mary Poppins Cole ReynoldsAidan Andrews, and Kaleesha Simone

Episode #3: The Broadway Battle:Edit

Previously on Glee: Make It or Break It:

At first the people who joined were Viper, Deno, Aidan, Hayley, and Cole, but New Directions finally got new additions for Glee: Kaleesha, Kendall, Samantha, and Duffy, oh, I mean, Jason. Meanwhile, after singing a song together, Viper and Deno share a kiss, but it gives Deno doubts about feeling that it's right since Viper is a jock and he considers himself a loser. After that, Jason's drug issue is developed as she explains her obsession with drugs. And when Cole defends Samantha after being called a bitch by her ex, Matthew, they end up kissing, and they're kind of official now, but not in Matthew's eyes.

That's what you missed on Glee!


The same guy that bought drugs from Duffy, well, Jason, sat in the principal's office feeling guilt for what he's done.

"So, do you have anything to say for yourself, Mr. Anderson?" Principal Figgins said with a completely disappointed look.

"It wasn't my fault," The boy said. "I bought the drugs, I didn't sell it."

"Then who did it, Salvatore?" Figgins said. "I just want to know who did so they could be held responsible for this issue."

"Jason Duffy." Salvatore looked down, still having qualms from this situation. Figgins sighed and looked down, "God, not her again. Okay, fine, you're excused, Salvatore, but if I see you with drugs in this school again, it's going to be a one-week suspension, got it?"

"Yes, yes," Salvatore quickly stormed out of the office in relief, as Salvatore walked out, Jason grabbed him by his shirt, Salvatore yelped as she slammed him to a locker.

"Did you tell him that I gave you those freaking drugs?" Jason said with furious eyes, Salvatore looked helpless as he nodded his head, "No, no, I didn't, I, I swear!"

"Say it now or I'm plucking grapes," Jason said, gripping his shirt even harder, Salvatore began to sweat and his heart was racing with fear, "I..I...I did. I'm sorry."

Jason let go of Salvatore and squinted her eyes, "Jesus, dude, now you're going to get me in trouble, this is my last strike."

"You almost got me in trouble!" Salvatore said. "Can't you at least be considerate of the other people around you and not think about yourself."

"I care about myself and that's it," Jason said, crossing her arms. "But don't worry, you'll get yours pretty soon, Anderson."

"Oh, god, please don't say that." Salvatore said. Jason walked away from him and nodded his head, as Salvatore leaned his head on the locker.


Matt stood in the hallways as Jason passed her by, still infuriated by Cole and Samantha's connection, they both stood at her locker smiling at each other, blushing and laughing.

I'll admit, I never intended to break up with Samantha, she was the only person I felt like I could be with to just make me feel like someone. But instead, I get called a man-whore and get dumped by a girl who's dating this Broadway weirdo from the suburbs. He looks like a rich boy, and looks like a virgin. Yeah, I'll be honest to say that I can be the type to hump and dump, but I never actually humped. Even if I did, it should have been with Samantha. All I know is that freak doesn't deserve her, I do. And I'm gonna do what I can to find a way to get her back.

Matthew slammed his locker and walked away from the looks of Cole and Samantha, looking anxious to sort out his plan.




"So, what is really going on between you and Viper?" Hailey said as she and Deno both strolled through the hallways. Deno looked down in confusion, nodding his head.

"You guys have been pretty close from what I've seen," she replied back. "And that solo yesterday was definitely a bit confusing after you stormed out of the choir room."

"It's just really complicated." Deno said. Hailey's mouth was wide open, she smiled, and gave him a baby punch.

"You like him!" Hailey said.

Deno quickly looked back up with a raised eyebrow, "What? No, no, no, I didn't say that. I don't like Viper, Hailey."

"It's written all over your face, Deno, there's no need to hide it. I'm a lesbian, I know how it feels to be attracted to someone that's not even your type." Hailey said, consoling him.

Deno sighed, "You just don't understand. Can you picture me with a jock like Viper? That's the only thing that's been stuck on my mind after we kissed in the choir room."

"You guys kissed?" Hailey was shocked and she smiled at the same time. "Who made the move?"

"He did." Deno looked down. "And ever since then, I've been confused if I'm willing to come to terms with this issue. He's not even my type."

"Yeah, I guess not, but from what I'm hearing, I'm assuming that he likes you, Deno, he's probably feeling the same way you are right now waiting for you to talk to him face-to-face about it."

"I really don't want to talk about it right now," Deno said. "I'm not ready, I'm really not. I'm really in an awkward situation."

"I understand," Hailey said, as they both stood face to face conversing. "But whenever you feel like you can talk to him, I'm sure he'll understand. But a kiss is a kiss, and at times, kisses can have meanings, maybe it was meant to show that you guys are really into each other."

Deno faced the other side of the hallway, looked back at Hailey and sighed, the bell rang after that.


Kaleesha, Samantha, and Kendall sat in Sue Sylvester's office that day sitting across from her. "Ladies, this is Day 2 of torment, drama, and antics. Today, I want you guys to choose any target in that club, any target."

"Coach Sylvester, may I say that I'm honestly getting bored with this? No offense, but I kind of like those guys, they aren't bad at all." Samantha said.

"I agree." Kaleesha said. "Nothing bad is wrong with them."

"So, you guys are approving of gay guys, and confused lesbians, Broadway weirdos, and transgenders in that club?" Kendall said. "What has gotten into you guys?"

Kaleesha looked at Kendall, "Oh, says the one who's bisexual, right? Girl, please. If I want to be friends with those guys, I can, no one can stop me."

"That's where you go wrong, Lil' Kim," Sue crossed her arms in disgust. "Or else you will have to choose between them. Cheerios or New Directions. On the other hand, if I do see any of you coming to good terms with those Rugrats, all of you will be kicked off of the Cheerios."

Kaleesha was stunned by the threat, and she shook her head. "You know, forget it, I can quit now. I can just quit now, I'm out of here." She grabbed her pocketbook and left out of the office. Samantha gave a convincing glare at Kendall, she stood up and followed Kaleesha's tracks.

"So, Samantha," Sue said. "What's with this Broadway freak you're currently dating in that club?" Samantha looked at her nervously, gaining a feeling of guilt and pressure.

Kendall followed an infuriated Kaleesha in the hallway, as Kendall walked her way to her to catch up, she replied, "What the hell is your problem, Kaleesha?"

"I don't recall ever having a problem." Kaleesha said sarcastically and gleefully. "My problem's already solved now."

"Do you seriously know what you're putting yourself into?" Kendall yelled. "If you freaking quit Cheerios, your reputation will be effed up, and would you want to be one of those slushie victims, no? You're not going to do this."

Kaleesha stopped, "Why does it seem like you always want to control what I want to do? I'm sick and tired of being your puppy, Kendall. Stop treating me like one."

"I'm not treating you like a puppy, you're treating yourself like one." Kendall shrugged and crossed her arms.

"So, I'm treating myself like one because I made my decision to quit? It's my life and I can do whatever the hell I want without you. This time, I'm starting fresh. So maybe you, Samantha and another bitch in the Cheerios can stay. But this time, I'm doing me."

Kendall nodded her head. "You're pathetic." She walked away from her and Kaleesha stood in the hallway, a spotlight shone on her as she looked up to it, and at that moment, the hallway was completely empty, and she began to sing.

"A new life - what I wouldn't give to have a new life." She sang. "One thing I have learned as I go through life: nothing is for free along the way!"

"A new start - that's the thing I need to give me new heart - half a chance in life to find a new part. Just a simple role that I can play." Kaleesha walked slowly in the hallways.

"A new hope - something to convince me to renew hope! A new day, bright enough to help me find my way!"

"A new chance - One that maybe has Atouch of romance. Where can it be, the chance for me?"

"A new dream - I have one I know that very few dream! I would like to see that overdue dream - even though it never may come true!"

"A new love - though I know there's no such thing as true love - even so, although I never knew love, still I feel that one dream is my due!"

"A new world - this one thing I want to ask of you, world - Once! - Before it's time to say adieu, world! One sweet chance to prove the cynics wrong!"

Kaleesha stood on the auditorium stage, with spotlight shining on her, and blue sparkly curtains lit up behind her. Cole suddenly watched her from afar, smiling.

"A new life - more and more, I'm sure, as I go through life, just to play the game - and to pursue life - just to share its pleasures, and belong! - that's what I've been here for, all along! Each day's a brand new liiiiiiiiiiiffffffffe!"

Kaleesha ended the song, and after that a loud amount of claps filled the auditorium as Cole went down with his yellow jacket on. "Wow, that was amazing, I never even knew you had that in you."

Kaleesha looked up and spotted Cole, she smiled, "Thanks, I am pretty diverse with my music. People do view me as just R&B and Hip-Hop, but I really am focused to be in the Broadway, too."

"Oh, so you're like me then," Cole smiled as he went up to the stage to walk to her. "Any particular reason why you sang that song though?"

Kaleesha sighed as she sat at the piano, "It's Kendall and Samantha. I'll be honest to say that the main reasons why we joined New Directions was to torment you guys and so Holly could quit her job. It was Coach Sylvester's commands."

"I did have a feeling something would be up." Cole crossed his arms.

"It's like, I just didn't want to be that person to start trouble, I was tired of Kendall treating me like a puppy. The exact reason why I joined was because I really am determined to follow my dreams as a singer, and Kendall didn't like that. She's just controlling my life."

"Ah." Cole smiled. "You don't seem like Kendall anyway, and since Samantha is my girlfriend now, I don't know what to say about her. But I'll say that you do need to have the courage to stand up for yourself, be audacious, and be the girl that you want to be."

Kaleesha smiled, "Thanks, Cole, that really meant a lot."

"Not a problem." Cole said. "You know, maybe we should both request Broadway week."

"You think we could?" Kaleesha said.

"Well, I don't know about Viper since he thinks almost everything is lame. But Broadway is completely overlooked. And I'm sure you have the experience with singing Broadway. I'm sure we could give Ms. Holiday some ideas to take it in consideration."

"I think we should go for it." Kaleesha said.

Cole put out his fist, "Deal?"

Kaleesha looked down at his fist, looked back at him, and smiled, and gave him a knuckle-touch, "Deal!"


In the choir room, an infuriated Viper reacted to the Broadway week idea, "What? Are you kidding me? Broadway. That's not my style, I'm sorry."

"Is anything ever your style or are you just too lazy to sing or participate." Hailey replied and rolled her eyes. Viper sighed.

"Guys, this could really be a good idea for us," Cole said, as he and Kaleesha stood side by side with Holly in the middle of the choir room.

"Broadway is really underrated in our book, and it also have meanings." Cole said. Viper crossed his arms in disappointment.

"I can definitely agree with Cole and Kaleesha here, this could be a great addition to our first assignment as a club. Viper, I can understand your reason, so if you would like to excuse yourself, then you may."

"Cool." Viper nodded his head, as Hailey rolled her eyes at Viper. Jason crossed her legs, not completely hearing Holly, Cole, and Kaleesha's speeches for the Broadway week, and as she did so, she nodded her head.

These guys in here are just so weak, I can tear them down so easily in a minute is crazy. Well, except for Viper, he's pretty cool, so he's deinitely not going to be my target this year. I guess. But I think it will be cool if I choose the most weakest of them all. That boy right there.

She mentioned Aidan, who was sitting one seat away from Viper as Hailey sat in the middle, Deno sat apart trying to block himself from looking at Viper.

Aidan Andrews, I guess that's his name. He doesn't seem so "strong", you can tell by his looks and all.

Aidan listened to Viper talking at that moment, and when he did, he suddenly lost control of his body. He grabbed his left pants leg, and tried to hold himself together, embarrassed and couldn't stop looking at him.

Whoa, did I just see what I thought I saw? Jason raised her eyebrow. He totally has a hard-on for Viper. He's definitely gay. Gosh, that's gross. Yes, I'm a hypocrite, but still. Aidan seems closeted, he's shy, he hasn't said anything out of his mouth since the day I met him. Something is definitely up, and Duffy Danger will be coming his way.

Jason was left with a smirk on her face, while Holly's last words were: "Well, it's official, it's Broadway week!"

Everyone cheered except for Viper, while Kendall rolled her eyes, and Cole and Kaleesha gave each other a high five.


A girl with black hair and a sweater and a skirt sat in the front of a classroom watching as her teacher was explaining the lessons for Geometry class. She looked confident in herself, intrigued in what the lessons were about.

"And well, that's all for class, kids, you may leave." The teacher said.

Tiffany smiled as she grabbed her binders as the bell rang, she stood up and waited for everyone to leave to talk to her teacher.

"Ms. Winters, I am very pleased with your effort in this class, you have been doing a very great job, you can definitely excel in life, keep up the work."

"Thanks, Mr. Fincher, I promise to keep doing my best, I know I'll make you proud." The girl said, as she made her departure out of the classroom, smiling and confident. She looked straight forward in the hallways, not worrying about anyone going in their way.

As you can see, I am completely intelligent, confident, and pretty good looking, or so I think. I guess that's what I want to be right. It's just my parents that make me act this way. I really don't want to be the person they want me to be, I really like singing and dancing more than I love other academics. My name is Tiffany Winters, I'm a sophomore and pretty nerdy if you ask me. But I'm very good to get to know.

As she continued to smile, all of a sudden, a splash of green slush went to her face, Tiffany stood with her binders held and she could feel the cold and uncomfortable sensation that has been put upon her by jocks as they laughed and walked away.


Aidan stood at his locker looking for his things as an anxious Jason walked to him with a grin. "Oh, hello, Aidan." Aidan turned to her, confused of why she was talking to her, "Um, hi? Can I help you, Jason?"

"The question is can I help you?" Jason crossed her arms and leaned her left shoulder on the locker, and closing Aidan's own. Aidan raised his eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Aidan, don't sweat, we're both into the same sex, I understand," Jason smiled.

"What are you talking about?" Aidan said. "I'm not gay, I am 100% straight."

"100% straight up gay would be a better answer." Jason said. "You make it obvious for yourself, dude. I saw the boner alert you had for Viper. It's nothing to hide at all."

Aidan looked back and everywhere else to see if everyone else was overhearing. Aidan looked nervous and scared at the same time. "If you tell anyone that--"

"No, no, I'll keep it between us, only if you do ME a favor." Jason said. Aidan was befuddled.

"And that favor is?" Aidan said.

"Let me be your gay beard." Jason said.

"Wait, what?" Aidan said. "I'm not even--"

"Don't even say it, you're gay and you know it. Because if you weren't gay, you wouldn't be springing wood over Viper, now am I right?"

Aidan sighed, "Right, I guess. But what makes you think I want you to be my gay beard anyway? Aren't you some type of troublemaker?"

"I guess I am." Jason said, as she walked closer to Aidan, who began to walk backwards. "But if you do not accept this relieving offer, I will out you to your jock friends, and everyone else, got it?"

Aidan gulped with fear, as he looked at everyone walking by. "Yes, yes, I accept."

Jason smiled, "Good boy, now we are officially together, let's go." Jason grabbed Aidan's arm and connected it with hers and as they walked together, Aidan expressed fear and guilt.

Why is this happening to me? Can someone please tell me? Just because my hormones kicked in over Viper, doesn't mean I'm gay, does it? That's completely normal. Yes, I've always thought that Viper was a hottie, and I already know that he's head over heels for Deno since he's told me that a million times in the football locker room, but have you seen his abs? His eyes and that beautiful hair. Yes, I guess I'll have to admit, I am gay, but I'm in the closet. But that doesn't give that Duffy the right to judge me so quick off of what she saw. I can't control my hormones, my hormones somewhat control me. I can't help that boys attract me, and the fact that I have to cover it up by dating some drug freak, it's just... I don't even know.


The Celibacy Club was all gathered in the classroom together with Kendall as the president, and Kaleesha, and Samantha near her. However, there seemed to be tension between both Kendall and Kaleesha as they stood in the room along with the rest of the members: Viper, a jock named Christopher Sandsmark, and a jock named Drake Singleton.

Kendall stood up with a large ruler in her hand, patting it on her hands slowly. "Ladies, gents, I think it's time we talk about our sex lives now. I assume that none of us have been sexually active for the past months, am I right?"

It was silent, marking that they haven't been sexually active altogether, Viper looked away as he thought about Deno, hoping that the situation wouldn't be brought up.

Christopher raised his hand, "Well, um, girls never really wanted to... you know... hump."

"And why is that, Christopher?" Kendall crossed her arms.

"It's because..." It was silent still, as Christopher looked down, "I always bring up Star Wars in conversations."

Laughter filled the class room when it came to the cheerleaders and jocks, but Kendall wasn't pleased, "You see, this is an example of a true virgin."

"But, but I'm not a--" Christopher tried to defend himself.

"Nope, this is exactly why guys like you are never sexually active." Kendall said. "You talk too much about crap like Star Wars or even freaking Spider-Man."

Drake looked at Viper, "Who the hell cares about Spider-Man anymore?"

"Drake, don't even go there, I've had sex with you and I've saw your Spider-Man undies." Kendall said.

Laughter still continued on, and Drake looked down, embarrassed, "God, you had to bring that up?"

Viper nodded his head, "Should've kept your mouth closed, dude."

"Says the one that talks non-stop about Barbies and Bratz." Kaleesha said, rolling her eyes. Kendall walked to her and stood near her like a statue.

"Kaleesha, or shall I say--" Kendall put up to fingers as emphasis, "Non-Cheerio Kaleesha, when have you been sexually active?"

"I haven't." Kaleesha said.

"Awww," Kendall said sarcastically. "And why is that?"

"It's because you've been treating me like a dog, remember? I'm just your property."

"Pfft, please, never have I treated you like a dog." Kendall replied.

Samantha sighed, "Guys, please don't start this here, this is a meeting, we need to continue further."

"Fine." Kaleesha shrugged.

"Now, all I'm just saying is--" Kendall ran to the chalkboard as she wrote, "WE NEED TO STEP UP."

"We need to step, guys. It's for the best. We're teens and it's normal to be this way." Kendall said.

"You've had sex with tons of boys, Kendall, it definitely should be normal for you." Samantha said.

"I have not had sex with tons of boys!" Kendall said. "It's only been three...."

Kendall looked away, "Or four... or maybe five."

Kaleesha rolled her eyes and nodded her head. Suddenly, Samantha recieved a text from Matt, suddenly telling her to meet her in the hallway.

Samantha rolled her eyes, "Code Red, guys, I'm gone." Samantha grabbed her bag and left the classroom.


Samantha walked to Matt in anger and stopped, "Is there any reason why you texted me to come here while I was in Celibacy Club, I have no reason to talk to you."

"Listen, Sammy--" Matthew tried to explain himself until Samantha interrupted him, "Please don't call me that."

"Samantha, you can hate me all you want, but I do want to apologize for what I said the other day, yes, it was out of line." "Are you just saying this because I'm dating Cole now?" Samantha crossed her arms. "Because if it is, you're really sucking at apologizing and on top of that come to think that I will seriously forgive you for what you said to me? You have to do enough to impress me to forgive you, as of now, you don't deserve my trust."

Samantha made her departure from him, and Matthew stood in the middle, and he snapped his fingers. As he began to dance his way through the entire building.

"Hey little girl with the cash to burn," he sang. "Well I'm sellin' something you won't return."

When he passed by the classroom of the Celibacy Club, both Kaleesha and Kendall danced their way through behind Matt as he continued to sing:

"Hey little girl take me off the shelf, 'cause it's hard having fun playing with yourself. Once you've browsed through the whole selection, shake those hips in my direction."

"A prettier package you never did see, take me home then unwrap me, shop around little darlin' I've got to be, the Ladies' Choice, the Ladies' Choice."

He began to sing the same song in the choir room as his audition for the Glee Club, many of the members, including Viper, Deno, Hailey, Kaleesha, and Kendall all danced as they sat in their seats watching him perform. But Cole seemed angry and began to show jealousy, while Samantha tried hard not to show any emotion while he sang.

"Hey little girl lookin' for a sale, test drive this American male." Matthew sang. "It's gonna take cash to fill my tank, so let's crack open your piggy bank. Hey little girl goin window shopping, I got something traffic stopping."

"Hey, little girl on a spending spree, I don't come cheap but the kisses come free, on closer inspection I'm sure that you'll agree, I'm the Ladies' Choice, the Ladies' Choice."

Matthew randomly grabbed Hailey and danced with her as the breakdown of the tune began. And Kaleesha and Kendall jumped in dancing along with them.

Hailey, Kaleesha, and Kendall sang, "Ahhhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh,"

As Matthew took a glare at Samantha with fierce and sexiness, and Samantha tried hard not to smile, and Matthew slid down the floor with his knees to her, singing, "Hey, little girl on a spending spree, I don't come cheap but the kisses come free on closer inspection I'm sure that you'll agree."

Samantha began to smile, and Cole began to spark jealousy looking at the both of them together.

"OOOHHHHH! Hey little girl, listen to my plea, I come with a lifetime guarantee and one day maybe we'll find that baby makes three." Matthew got back up and back to the center of the choir room.

"It's the Ladies' Choice, I'm the Ladies' Choice," Matthew sang as the girls danced along with him. "The Ladies' Choice, I'm the Ladies' Choice choice choice, I'm the Ladies' Choice, woo!"

As the song ended, everyone cheered for Matthew, who began to smile and wink at Samantha, who nodded her head blushing, while Cole had his arms cross in disgust. Holly stood up in excitement, "Now this is what we've been needing all along! You've actually done amazing due to the fact that we are doing Broadway! You are amazing, how do you do it?"

"Eh, well, I try," Matthew smiled.

"This dude is seriously starting to make me love Broadway now!" Viper said. Matthew suddenly winked at him also. "Well, welcome to New Directions!"

Cole still looked angry as he sat glaring into his eyes. Look at him, he thinks he's all goody goody because he can do Broadway. Please, even Billy Idol can do Link Larkin better than him. Even I can, too. And the other thing that I hate about this guy is that he is so trying to take Samantha back, the wink, the way Sam smiled, he knows he wants her back again and this time I am not tolerating it. I'm calling the Broadway Battle.

An innocent looking Tiffany looked intrigued with the importance, she walked in. "Um, excuse me? Is this, Glee Club, right?"

"Why, it definitely is." Holly smiled. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"My name is Tiffany Winters, I just overheard all of the loud music in the hallways, I'm kind of impressed and I wanted to know if there was any space left for me to join?"

"Of course!" Holly said. "How about singing for us?"

"Okay, sure." Tiffany cleared her throat, while it became quiet in the choir room as she began to sing, "Maybe far away or maybe real nearby... he may be pouring her coffee, she may be straighting this tie!"

Cole suddenly began to cheer up as he listened to her voice, while everyone began to smile. '"Maybe in a house, all hidden by a hill. She's sitting playing piano, he's sitting paying a bill!"

"Betcha they're young, betcha they're smart, bet they collect things like ashtrays, and art! Betcha they're good -- why shouldn't they be? Their one mistake was giving up me!"

"So maybe now it's time, and maybe when I wake, they'll be there calling me "Baby"... Maybe. "

Tiffany recieved a round of applause and with confidence, Tiffany smiled. Holly gave a thumbs up. "Welcome to New Directions to these two awesome singers, how about some more applause, guys?!"

Holly grabbed Matthew and Tiffany together and they both looked around, feeling amiable and proud.


"I am telling you, hon, he is seriously trying to get up your skirt again," Cole said as she and Samantha walked in the halls. "That's the whole reason why he joined."

"I know that, Cole, I know. He just wants my forgiveness since he called me a bitch." Samantha said. "I guess he won my forgiveness."

"I wouldn't forgive him for anything in the world, I already know he's up to get you back." Cole said.

Samantha stopped walking, "Listen, Cole, don't worry about a thing at all, because he's not the won I fell in love with. The person I fell in love with was you."

Cole began to blush, "Well, daw, you're so sweet, I feel the same way." Cole kissed Samantha quickly and they continued to walk.


"So, how are things going with New Directions so far?" Mr. Schuester asked as she and Holly were both on the phone while she was in the teacher's lounge.

"Oh my, it's great, we got 11 members so far, all we need is one more and we'll be all set!" Holly smiled.

"Wow, that's really great, did Kaleesha and Kendall ever consider joining?" Mr. Schuester said. "They did, what a surprise, but little old Sue wanted to warn me about them and how they are planning to tear New Directions down." Holly scoffed. Sue walked in angst after.

"You sure damn right they will." Sue slammed her stuff on the table near her, Holly clicked the speaker button for Mr. Schuester.

"Because of you, my kinds are going from Cheerios to Rice Krispies in your Glee Club. One of my best cheerleaders decided to quit to join there!"

"And, so, you're saying that it's my fault?" Holly's eyebrow raised.

"To hell it is!" Sue said. "But I'll say this, I am not backing down without a fight, oh, believe me, I will do whatever I can to destroy the Spongebob Squarepants Club of yours."

"Listen, Sue," Holly stood up. "I'm getting tired of your attempts to try to destroy this club. What has it ever done to you? What gives you the audacity to use teenagers to destroy something so important to me and so important to the kids that join. Try to tear us down if you want to, but you will always fail."

"I. NEVER. FAIL!" Sue walked out of the lounge angry and pushing students as she walked by. Holly rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone, "Did you hear that?"

"Definitely." Mr. Schuester said. "But you definitely stood up for New Directions, that sparks the sign that you are definitely a good director for these kids."

"Thanks, Will." Holly smiled.


"Pop," Jason sang.

"Six," Hailey sang.

"Squish," Kaleesha sang.

"Uh-uh," Tiffany sang.

"Cicero," Kendall sang.

"Lipschitz," Samantha sang.

They continued to repeat it as they all were in the auditorium as Viper announces, "And now the 6 merry murderers of the cook county jail in their rendition of the cell block tango."

"Pop," Jason sang.

"Six," Hailey sang.

"Squish," Kaleesha sang.

"Uh-uh," Tiffany sang.

"Cicero," Kendall sang.

"Lipschitz," Samantha sang.

"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame, if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it," the girls all sang.

"I betcha you would have done the same!" Kendall sang.

"Pop," Jason sang.

"Six," Hailey sang.

"Squish," Kaleesha sang.

"Uh-uh," Tiffany sang.

"Cicero," Kendall sang.

"Lipschitz," Samantha sang.

Jason walked in the front center of the stage in the red spotlight,

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie like to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and I'm looking for a bit of sympathy and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "you pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots......into his head."

"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame, if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it," the girls all sang. "I betcha you would have done the same!"

Hailey sang next, "I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner and then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

" Hah! He had it coming, he had it coming. He took a flower in its prime and then he used it and he abused it, it was a murder but not a crime!"

"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner," Kaleesha sang next, while Kendall stood watching her every move, envying her. "Minding my own business, carvin' up the chicken for dinner, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you been screwin the milkman." and then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"

Cole smiled at Kaleesha when she winked at him.

"If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!"

"What am I doing here? They say that my famous tenant held down my husband while I cut off his head. But it's not true, I'm innocent. I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain at the police station, but they didn't understand." Tiffany sang.

"My sister, Veronica and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks, one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin' andhavin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I went out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen - the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead." Kendall sang.

"They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along, I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?"

"I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But He was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead." Samantha sang.

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum"

"They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along, I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?"

"Pop," Jason sang.

"Six," Hailey sang.

"Squish," Kaleesha sang.

"Uh-uh," Tiffany sang.

"Cicero," Kendall sang.

"Lipschitz," Samantha sang.

The song ended with the girls and all of the boys gave a round of applause, while Kaleesha stood in the middle taking a bow and Kendall stared at her in jealousy.


"I'm telling you, Samantha, Kaleesha has changed, you can not deny that at all." Kendall said as she walked with her in the hallway.

"You may think that, but I think you're kind of taking it a little bit overboard," Samantha said. "Kaleesha is somehow doing something good, if you have heard her numeral times about how she wanted to be the next Nicki Minaj or the next Lil' Kim, you would see why she quit."

"Why does it seem like you always have to defend her everytime there's a problem, but you never agree with me?" Kendall said.

"I'm not defending no one, I'm just stating how I feel." Samantha said. "Look, Ken, you cannot control Kaleesha like this forever, she needs to break free on her own. I think you should just deal with what decisions she wants to make." "Whatever," Kendall shrugged.

When Tiffany walked in the halls after, Kendall nodded her head, "Do you realize how weird Tiffany is?" "She's not that bad, Kendall," Samantha said.

"No, no, no, it's just something weird about her, she's so confident about herself, but she's just so weird and gross looking."

"Do you have to badmouth every single person you see?" Samantha rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm just keeping it real, she's got cooties." Kendall sang, she walked towards the middle of the hallway, "Tiffany Winters, this is for you. They came from way far out in outer space and with her help, they may destroy the human race. She's got cooties!"

"Cooties!" The cheerleaders all gathered around her.

"They've found a place to nest, she's got cooties,"


"If I were her I'd be depressed. Long tailed, sharp nailed, fuzzy legs, laying eggs." Kendall sang. "Eww, get 'em away from me, get 'em away from me ... ewww!!"

In the science class, Kendall and the rest of the Cheerios followed Tiffany's every move.

"In science class, she's like a walking show-and-tell, her pet skunk ran away cause it couldn't take the smell, She's got cooties."

"...Cooties." The Cheerios sang.

"Nobody want to sit by her, she's got cooties,"


'She don't need a coat, cause she's got fur! Circle, circle, dot, dot, dot. Hurry, get your cootie shot!"

"Come on everybody, let's stamp 'em out!"

They danced all through the hallway, and making their entrance in the lunchroom where she sat alone. "She's got cooties...Cooties. She's just as friendly as can be."

"She's got cooties,"


"She shows them cootie hospitality,"

"She's got cooties,"


"She's like a living "twilight zone".

"She's got cooties."


"Quick, get Rod Serling on the phone!"

"Black, white, red, green, every color in between, dresses like a circus clown, somebody oughta hose her down, grew up in a cootie zoo, I bet her two-ton mama's got 'em too! "And that's for you!""

Kendall snapped out of the moment and Samantha nodded her head as they both continued to walk in the hallway.


The next hour, Aidan continued to walk by, but all of a sudden he spotted Viper inside of the locker room, when he stopped, he walked back, and took a peek at Viper, as he and the rest of the jocks were playing around after football practice was over. Viper was shirtless and began to untwist the cap of a water bottle and drank it.

In Aidan's mind it was like he was doing it in slow motion, it was hard for him not to stop looking. Until he heard a voice that made him jump.

"Looking at something?" Jason smiled.

"Oh, no, I was just--" Aidan found it difficult to reply. Jason scoffed, "Let Viper be, Aidan, he's not your type, he's into Deno, deal with it."

"When is this gay beard stuff going to end?" Aidan said. "I'm really tired of you following me around, all I smell around you is marijuana and Marlboro cigarettes, it's disgusting."

"Well, if you want, I can stop being your beard, but I guess I'd have to break my promise and tell your friends that you're gay." Jason said. "Now would you want that?"

Aidan was once again nervous, "No, Jason."

"Good," Jason said.


Cole quickly strolled through the hallways going to Matthew just to confront him. Matthew didn't exactly know what was coming, but Cole was ready for action.

"I know what you're trying to do, and it's NOT going to work." Cole said infuriately. Matt turned to him, "Confusion. What do you mean?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Cole said.

"No, but you look stupid and you dress stupid, so I guess you are." Matthew shrugged.

"Look," Cole sighed. "I know that you know that you're only in New Directions just so you can get a piece of Samantha. It's obvious, don't you get that?"

"God, it's not her," Matthew said. "If I want to join New Directions, I can if I want to, so there. You're just jealous, Broadway Freak, because I did Ladies' Choice way better than you could in your whole entire life time." "Oh, god, now you want to go there," Cole nodded. "You think you're just gonna take the spotlight away from me? You have another thing coming. I'm a star, I'm THE star of this freaking Glee Club."

"Say what you want." Matthew shrugged. "I sight jealousy."

"I just hope you don't expect me to fall back like some background dancer." Cole says. "I'm the star at McKinley, you're just rising." Cole replies to Matt's confrontation.

"Auditorium, now, bring it on." Matthew said.

"Let's go." Cole said, anxiously.

Both Matthew and Cole made their way through the auditorium ran all the way down to the stage and they began to compete against each other.

"Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you." Cole crossed his arms.

"No, you can't." Matthew sang.

"Yes, I can." Cole sang.

"No, you can't." Matthew sang.

"Yes, I can." Cole sang.

"No, you can't." Matthew sang.

"Yes, I can, yes I can." Cole sang.

"Anything you can be, I can be greater. Sooner or later, I'm greater than you." Matthew sang.

"No, you're not." Cole sang.

"Yes, I am." Matthew sang.

"No, you're not." Cole sang.

"Yes, I am." Matthew sang.

"No, you're not." Cole sang.

"Yes, I am, yes I am." Matthew sang.

"I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge., I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow., I can live on bread and cheese." Cole sang.

"And only on that?" Matthew sang.

"Yes." Cole sang.

"So can a rat!" Matthew sang. "Any note you can reach, I can go higher, I can sing anything higher than you."

"No, you can't." Cole sings higher.

"Yes, I can." Matthew sings higher.

"No, you can't." Cole sings higher.

"Yes, I can." Matthew sings higher

"No, you can't." Cole sings higher.

"Yes, I can." Matthew sings higher.

"No, you can't." Cole sings higher.

"Yes, I can." Matthew sings higher.

"No, you can't." Cole sings higher.

"Yes, I CAN!" Matthew sings really higher.

"Anything you can wear, I can wear better. in what you wear, I'd look better than you." Cole sang.

"In my coat?" Matthew sang.

"In your vest!" Cole sang.

"In my shoes?" Matthew sang.

"In your hat!" Cole sang.

"No, you can't!" Matthew sang.

"Yes, I can, yes I can!" Cole sang.

"I can jump a hurdle." Matthew sang.

"I can wear a girdle." Cole sang.

"I can knit a sweater." Matthew sang.

"I can fill it better!" Cole sang.

"I can do most anything!" Matthew sang.

"Can you bake a pie?"


"Neither can I."

"Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter., I can sing anything sweeter than you." Cole sang.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't, can't, can't"

"Yes, I can, can, can."

"Yes, I can!"

" No, you can't!" Matthew ended the song on a long note, while Cole stood there infuriated, and both out of breath, trying to catch their breath.

"This just proves that I'm better than you, deal with it." Matthew shrugged and Cole watched as he walked away.

"Just stay away from Samantha!" Cole yelled out.


The next day, Kaleesha made her entrance in the classroom where Celibacy Club meetings are held. Kendall and a remorseful Samantha all sat, and the jocks sat on the other side.

"Sit." Kendall said. Kendall was confused as she took a seat down and asked, "What's going on?"

"You're going on, Kaleesha, you are." Kendall said. "You see, before you came in, we have decided on something, all of us altogether. I think it's safe for us to say that you have no part in this anymore. I mean, you did give up cheerleading, what else is supposed to be gone? Your rights for being in the Celibacy Club. We have all decided to kick you out."

"You're kidding me, right?" Kaleesha said.

"If I were kidding, Ashton Kutcher would just be in this room right now yelling, "You've been Punk'd!"

"That is the most unfair, biased, and hurting thing you guys have ever done." Kaleesha said. "Samantha, all I did for you, I've been your best friend to the end."

"Kaleesha, this wasn't--" Samantha looked sad and hurt, but Kendall stopped her, "No, Sam, you don't have to explain yourself to this girl."

Kaleesha looked at Viper, who felt the same as Samantha, and she looked at the rest, and nodded her head. "So much for friendship," and walked out of the door.

"I can't believe you made me do that, Kendall." Samantha said.

"It was for her own good." Kendall shrugged.


"By the time the wind has blown the weather vane around, I'll show you if I can, no matter what the circumstance for one thing I'm renowned, my character is spit spot spic and span, I'm practically perfect in every way." Cole sang as he was on the auditorium stage.

Kaleesha replied, "Practically Perfect?"

"So people say each virtue virtually knows no bound each trait is great and patiently sound, I'm practically perfect from head to toe. If I had a fault it would never dare to show, I'm so practically perfect in every way." Cole sang, looking at Matthew with daring eyes.

"Both prim and proper and never to stern, well-educated yet willing to learn, I'm clean and honest my manner refined and i wear shoes of the sensible kind, I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain, there's nothing else i feel i need to explain."

"I'm practically perfect in every way, practically perfect that's my forte, uncanny nannies are hard to find, unique yet meek unspeakably kind, I'm practically perfect not slightly soiled, running like an engine thats just been freshly oiled, I'm so practically perfect in every way."

"Not tempermental? Not grouchy or gruff?" Aidan sang.

"Will you stay tender when the going gets tough?" Kaleesha sang.

"Do you read stories without a big fuss?" Aidan sang.

"Or have objections to playing with us?" Kaleesha sang.

"Oh I like games but I choose them." Cole said. "Some minor improvements may not go a miss but at all times remember this."

"You're practically perfect in every way." Aidan and Kaleesha sang.

"I guarantee." Cole sang.

"Practically perfect we hope you stay." Aidan and Kaleesha sang.

"No flies on me, each virtue vurtually knows no bound. Each trait is great and patiently sound." Cole sang.

"Patiently sound," Aidan and Hailey sang.

"I'm practically perfect and here's my aim, by the time I leave here you both will be the same. You'll be practically perfect." Cole sang.

"Practically perfect." Aidan and Kaleesha sang. Cole joined in altogether: "You/we will be practically perfect in every way."


Duffy Danger Exclusive Promo:


"Please give me another sample, I am freaking in need!" Salvatore began to beg uncontrollably. 

Jason nodded her head, "Yeah, you are freaking in need of counseling."


"I'm sorry, can you repeat that again?" Jason says.


"Good boy!" Jason said.

Jason plays the game, but will she win?

"I'll admit, you're pretty cute." Jason smirks.

"The question is, are you?" Hailey says.


"If you really want to save your reputation, you're gonna have to obey me, worship me, and respect me. Bitch, I'm Duffy Danger."

Duffy Danger you are.

A love triangle that's out of this world!

"She's not going to take you back, maybe you should know that." Cole smiles.

"Yeah, know that I can kick your ass right now and she'll be in love with me again." Matthew replies.


with guest stars Eddie Redmayne...

"Have I ever mentioned how good looking you look today, miss?" Kai said.

"No, but I would love if you had said that again." Kendall blushed

... and Victoria Justice.

"You guys are all here for detention for a reason," Principal Figgins said.

"Is this like some type of bible study?" The girl said.

Jason looked away and rolled her eyes along with Viper and the rest of the jocks.


Drugs like you've never seen them before.